Customer Problems
by Hiro Konobu
Summary: You know things aren't always great at the cafe where the mews work. Rated T for various amounts of perverted innuendo.


Customer Problems

By Hiro Konobu

"Just wanted to play around with an idea in I had for some time, and as always I only own my fanfics."

"Mom I'm going out to the cafe." Ichigo said as she was about to go out of her house.

"Oh yeah Ichigo, after work could you pick me up some milk from the store?" Ichigo's mom said.

"Sure thing mom, I'll be sure to do that." Ichigo said as she went out the door, as she went to work for the day.

"Probably should have asked her to get some bread too." Ichigo's mom said as we skip to Ryou in his cafe trying to call someone.

"Hello?" Ryou said as he got a vaguely referency message from the phone.

"The number you have reached...has been disconnected...the-the number you have reached...has been disconnected..." The phone said with some very catchy music behind it.

"Stupid cell phone of Ichigo, still I wonder where she is, after all she is kind of late, and where did she get a message similar to an In The Groove song?" Ryou said very annoyed as he hung it up and went out to the front of the cafe but not saying anything as he passes by Purin giving three people food.

"Well here's your food, enjoy it. Na no da." Purin said as she handed the group their food.

"Thank you." The guy in the group said.

"Thank you, miss." The other guy in the group said

"Thanks." The girl in the group said.

"You know Carlos I have no idea why were even here, though that girl seemed a bit hyperactive." The first guy said.

"True, but I think it's to give us some random cameo bit in a fandom where no one would recognize us Mike." Carlos said.

"Or some time to discuss the lame "Lucky Star" parody I was in not too long ago, but then again this isn't our section..." The girl said as she started eating her food in a typical anime-ish fashion.

"Mikana..." Mike said as he and Carlos started eating and ending their cameo bit as we skip to the door we find Ichigo just coming in.

"Ichigo! where were you?" Ryou said to Ichigo as she had walked into the cafe.

"Whoa? What was that for?" Ichigo said in a state of shock as well as the fact her cat ears were showing.

"Well, you were late, I was wondering what you were doing that could be more important than working here, and what's with the message? By the way your ears showing." Ryou said making Ichigo fume and blush all at the same time.

"Ryou, and as for the message I got it from a friend." Ichigo said while doing the aforementioned things mentioned as we skip a few minutes later to where Mint is talking to Ichigo.

"So Ichigo did that stalker pop up again?" Mint said as she was drinking some tea.

"Who, you mean Masaya?" Ichigo said.

"Well yes, then again I hear he's huge in Japan..." Mint said as she made Ichigo sweatdrop.

"Mint, that line didn't seen appropriate." Ichigo said.

"Yeah, I just thought some sort of factual joke would fit here." Mint said sweatdropping while drinking some more of her tea.

"Well I'm off to serve the next person who pops in here." Ichigo said as she went to wait for the

"Hmm...why do I have a bad feeling about the next person..." Mint said shaking a little as we skip to the front where we see someone walking in.

"Nice place." The customer said as he entered the cafe.

"Welcome to Cafe Mew Mew." Ichigo said noticing the guy.

"Well, hello." The guy said coming up to Ichigo in a very amorous fashion.

"Err...hello." Ichigo said blushing due to the guy coming up to her.

"So will you direct me to my seat?" The guy said seemingly hiding some ulterior motive, or at least his hands.

"I will, so follow me." Ichigo said.

"Of course..." The guy said... "...Touchdown!" ...and yes he actually said that as he actually grabbed Ichigo's rear.

"You pervert!" Ichigo blurted out as she got surprised by the random grabbing, as not only as she started yelling out in random Japanese...but alerting the rest of the cafe group that currently was in the same area as we see Ryou, and the other mews coming out into the area.

"Ryou, what's a pervert? Na no da." Purin said confused.

"Well, I'll explain it to you later." Ryou said at a loss of words sweatdropped.

"Okay. Na no da." Purin said smiling.

"Ichigo what happened?" Ryou said as Ichigo was still in her random Japanese blurting moment.

"I hate it when I say that I have bad feelings and they turn out right." Mint said sighing.

"You actually predicted that would happen?" Ryou said.

"Well, all I said earlier was that I bad feelings about the next person who came in." Mint said

"Well I'm glad it's just a slow day today, and the fact Keiichiro and Zakuro had a day off today." Ryou said.

"You know I was wondering why onee-sama, and that other guy didn't show up today." Mint said as Lettuce walked in shocked at the going on's of the current situation.

"Did I come at the wrong time?" Lettuce said as a very confused look came across her face as she was standing in the hallway.

"Not at all, were just having issues with a pervert, because Ichigo will not stop yelling out random Japanese on that guy." Ryou said.

"To be honest there's nothing being mentioned about the random Japanese being used...it's just for comic effect, and anger." Mint said.

"Right..." Lettuce still confused at what was going on still standing in the hallway.

"Still what's a pervert? Na no da." Purin said while leaving the rest of the group speechless.

"We'll tell you later ok." Mint said, with a hint of unnoticeable sarcasm in her voice as it seems Ichigo has ended her seemingly endless Japanese talk stream.

"So you finally ended the Japanese stream huh?" The guy said.

"Yeah, just don't try anything else perverted, because were letting you off easy." Ryou said.

"Right, right..." The guy said as he walked out only to do one more perverted act. "Wow, nice breasts." The guy said while touching Lettuce's breasts completely on purpose.

"...You..." Lettuce said completely in shock so much so, she had stood still from shock.

"...Perverted..." Mint said also in shock.

"...Freak!" Ichigo said also in shock but louder.

"Still, what's a pervert? Na no da." Purin said making everyone sweatdrop yet again for that line.

"We gave you a chance to let us forget about it and now you do this!" Ryou said as a crashing sound is heard outside only to find a certain alien outside.

"Kish! What are you doing here? Now's not a great time." Ichigo said.

"How so..." Kish says as he sees the guy touching Lettuce's breasts. "I get what you mean..." Kish said sweatdropping.

"So, who invited the yaoi-ish pretty boy looking thing?" The guy said making everyone facefault.

"Yaoi-ish pretty boy looking thing? How corny is that?" Kish said shaking his head.

"That is truly corny indeed." Ryou said as he and the mews except for Lettuce who was still paralyzed in terror also shook their heads.

"Well, I thought it was funny." The guy said.

"Right, oh and due to all of this commotion we never asked for your name." Ichigo said.

"Oh it's Burai." Burai said.

"Stereotypical Japanese name indeed." Mint said sarcastically.

"So any specific reason you did what you did?" Ryou said.

"Yeah, there's no reason for you to do something like that to me and Lettuce." Ichigo said.

"Not at all, I just wanted cop a feel." Burai said before Kish knocked him out, sort of surprising everyone.

"...Well I was going to hit him, but it still did the job." Ryou said.

"Anyway with all this commotion happening already I wont send any Kirema Anima's out today." Kish said holding Burai in his hands.

"You know even though it was corny I'm agreeing with that "Yaoi-ish pretty boy looking thing" line he said earlier, because of how wrong this picture looks." Mint said.

"Well, ever since Deep Blue-sama was destroyed me, Pai, and Tart had to find new hobbies, and one of them is probing people." Kish said.

"You actually do that now?" Ichigo said, and if you were waiting for a "what's a" line by Purin here, she was actually somewhere else.

"Well, it's a guilty pleasure besides we probed some guy named Paul Phoenix the other day, for something about being the strongest in the universe, and beating up aliens, but now I have to go probing time." Kish said as he teleported out the area.

"Well, I guess Burai deserved it." Ryou said as everyone goes back in. "By the way could someone knock Lettuce out of her trance-like state?" Ryou said as Purin dropped some cold water on Lettuce.

"This should help. Na no da." Purin said.

"Ahh!" Lettuce said as she was moving again and surprised Purin.

"So feeling any better?" Mint said.

"A little, but still traumatized from the actions that guy." Lettuce said.

"Don't worry besides that guy is getting probed right now." Ryou said, as some faint sounds of screaming were heard.

End...or so you think.

"But wait in the process of making this fanfic, I had another ending to this planned and here it is, though I didn't feel it was a positive end."

(Lets skip back to after Burai had planted his hands on Lettuces breasts, and after all the commotion.)

"So what do have to say now pervert!" Ichigo said pressing Burai harshly.

"I have no regrets at all, I have felt the greatest thing in the universe." Burai said earning him a slap from Mint who had heard everything.

"...That was awful, and so perverted." Mint said.

"So what if it wasn't." Burai said, earning him another slap but this time from Ryou.

"Again that was inappropriate." Ryou said.

"You know..." Burai said as he somehow he got a stomach ache.

"This better not be another trick to feel up someone." Mint said.

"No I'm serious..." The guy said as he fainted.

"What the..." Ryou said.

"Ahh, now this is interesting." Keiichiro said shocking Ryou, though mews were paying attention to the fallen Burai.

"What's interesting? By the way how did you get here?" Ryou said confused.

"See for the interesting part, we found this guy was compatible with an animal so I used the computer program and well he wound up like this, and as for how I got in I used the back door." Keiichiro said.

"Wait wouldn't the guy that has DNA become a girl." Mint said somehow listening on the conversation.

"Well, it'd be a suitable punishment." Ryou said.

"True, wait what punishment?" Keiichiro said, obviously not knowing about what happened earlier in the cafe.

(5 minutes later, and one explanation later...)

"So that's what happened, well I guess that suits her now." Keiichiro said looking over a female Burai...to all who were wondering what "she" looks like just think of a girl with long white hair and pants and a shirt to loose for her.

"This is not funny!" Burai said.

End Alt.

"Well hope you enjoyed it, as for some of the references, the part where Ichigo and Ryou were talking about an In The Groove song the message was a lyric line from the song Disconnected Hyper, as for Mint's "Bad Feeling", and Purin "What's a" line, the way they were used could be perceived as an Advance Wars reference as well as the blatant OC cameo in the early part of this fic(since those three OC's are characters I use in that fandom), now for the probing Paul Phoenix line, it's a reference to Tekken 5 and his ending from said game."


End file.
